![]() At its worst, breaking the custom of arranged marriage can mean being disowned by one’s family. ![]() Youth who attend American schools and are immersed in Western culture still can experience extreme pressure from older relatives to marry someone from back home of the same religion and caste. Statistics shows that only 1 out of 100 Indian marriages end up to a divorce which is quite low in comparison to America’s 50 of marriages turning into breakups. ![]() These traditions and values span social class: The high level of educational and professional achievement in Indian immigrant populations can disguise how deeply traditional they are in their personal lives. But it is more surprising to know that the divorce rate in India ranks lowest among all the countries of the world. More than 87 percent of Indian Americans are foreign-born, and ties to relatives and communities back home mean customs like arranged marriage and the shame of divorce continue to be enforced across oceans and through generations. Though it’s not clear exactly how many such unions exist in the United States, we know that South Asians are part of the fastest-growing racial group here, and about 70 percent of Indian marriages are arranged. The divorce stigma often is most severe in cases of arranged marriage. In some communities, what’s needed is more divorce, not less. So while many are cheering about the falling divorce rates in the United States, this isn’t good news for all. If their families oppose the divorce, they may be left with no place to go and no means of supporting themselves and their children. The divorce taboo has particularly severe consequences for women who have no financial resources of their own. In conservative families, a divorced woman is often viewed as pariah or harbinger of bad luck. Sometimes, they stop receiving invitations to family functions, and when they do attend, they’re made a target of relatives’ shaming. Single ladies, if you’re wondering why your man hasn’t proposed yet, perhaps he’s waiting to turn 37 According to a report released by Statistics South Africa (Stats SA), Marriages and Divorces, 2019, the median age of bridegrooms increased from 36 years in 2015 to 37 years in 2019. Divorcees often are isolated from their families, an object of mingled pity and disdain. While parents and siblings might show sympathy over an unhappy marriage, divorce is often considered beyond the pale. The difference with MAFS and modern arranged marriages is the approach (calling it modern. All that doesnt align with the actual stats of arranged marriages where the divorce rate is actually less than 4 percent. Husbands and wives are forced by social pressure originating 8,000 miles away to stay in emotionally unhealthy and abusive relationships. On MAFS, most of the couples end up getting a divorce or have it annulled or even if they stay together on Decision Day, split later. Chitra’s story, and the emotional suffering of other South Asian men and women whom I help as a counselor, show why those numbers are so concerning.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |